Luscious Lemon Cake

I am very VERY keen on lemon cake. I love it to be both sweet and sharp all at once, which is achieved by drizzling a syrup made of lemon juice and icing sugar all over a sponge made in a loaf tin as soon as it comes out of the oven, then leaving it to cool completely in the tin. This makes it sticky, moist and completely delicious. My mum made a fabulous version of this, but used a 18cm square tin and cooked it for less time (about 30 mins should do it). This is also her name for it and it is completely fitting, for luscious is exactly what it is!

Ingredients

125g butter, softened
175g caster sugar
2 eggs
zest of 1 lemon
1tbsp poppy seeds (optional)
175g self raising flour
pinch salt
4 tbsp milk

For the syrup:
juice of 1 lemon (about 4 tablespoons)
100g icing sugar

Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4. Line a 1lb loaf tin (roughly 23x13x7cm) with baking parchment or greaseproof paper.

Cream together the butter and sugar until well combined and a little bit paler than the butter's original colour. Add the eggs and beat together. Mix in the lemon zest and poppy seeds if using, then add the flour and salt. Add the milk to loosen the mixture, the scrape into the prepared tin. Bake for 45 minutes, until risen and golden.

Whilst it is baking, put the juice and icing sugar in a pan and warm gently until the sugar is dissolved. As soon as the cake is cooked, jab it all over with a skewer or small knife, then pour the syrup over. Make sure it is evenly distributed, as it is rather keen on running to the edges so spoon plenty of the syrup into holes made in the middle. Once you've doused it, leave it to cool completely before taking it out the tin. If you can leave it over night, as it will soak in fully and the remaining heat of the cake will help the liquid evaporate, and leave an almost imperceptible sugary crust on the top of the cake.

Variations

You could do this with any citrus fruit I think. If your using oranges, it will probably be the juice of half an orange, if limes, probably the juice of two.

Rhubarb and Cinnamon Muffins

I love rhubarb, as I have rambled before. I think it's just magical and I am fully convinced it must be really good for your health, possibly full of cures for all sorts of diseases. This is based on the idea that it's a pink vegetable that you eat in puddings. I have no scientific data to back this up.
I also love cinnamon, though I do believe that it is used too much in commercial bakery. Every fruited bun or cake that you buy in high street bakeries or supermarkets is loaded with cinnamon, almost to the detriment of any flavour of any other ingredients. In small amounts it's beauteous, rich fully rounded flavour is in harmony with fruit bakery. In large amounts it's like having your cake soaked in mouth wash.

Ingredients

300g rhubarb, chopped into 1cm dice
3 tbsp caster sugar
300g plain flour
1 tsp baking powder
100g caster sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 eggs, beaten
200ml semi-skimmed milk
100g butter, melted

For topping

3 tbsp light muscavado sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon

Preheat oven to 200°C/400°F/Gas 6

Mix the rhubarb and 3 tbsp of caster sugar together and place in a oven proof dish, add two tablespoons of water or orange juice and bake for about 10 minutes. This softens the rhubarb. Once it is cooled, spoon it in to a sieve over a dish to catch any drips, though you won't need the juice.

Mix the dry ingredients for the cake mixture in a bowl. In a jug, whisk together the milk, eggs and melted butter together, then add to the dry ingredients and stir together, but don't be too thorough. Don't forget, a lumpy mixture makes better muffins, an over stirred mix can make the muffins become tough. Tumble in the cooled and drained rhubarb pieces, stir in, then divide between 12 muffin cases in a 12 hole muffin pan. Mix together the topping ingredients, and scatter over each muffin.

Bake for 25-30 minutes, until risen and cooked through. The sugar won't melt, but will leave a crunchy crust on the top of the muffin.

Eat warm with custard or ice cream.

Bread and Butter Pudding

Whenever autumn rolls around I feel the need for not only large quantities of starch, but nostalgic starch. My mum is a great pudding maker and we often had a really good 'nursery' pudding. Delights such as Syrup Sponge (with custard), Chocolate Sponge (with chocolate custard), Eve's Pudding (ahem, custard), crumbles of various types, Rice Pudding. More rarely we might have had steamed puddings such as Jam Roly-Poly or Clootie Rumpling. The former I think has gone out of vogue somewhat as it contains suet, which not perhaps the healthiest way of having fat in your diet. The latter is not well known by people who aren't of Scottish heritage. It's a similar shape to a Jam Roly-Poly (at least that's how I remember it) and also contains suet, but it taste is more akin to Christmas pudding. Or perhaps a steamed fruited parkin, as being Scottish it contains the grain that was most readily available, oats. It's surely what was in mind when the term rib sticking was coined. And now the Bread and Butter pudding. I think this pushes the same buttons as Rice Pudding. It's sweet, stodgy and milky all at once. Breast milk for adults.

A note about the bread. It must be day old and it must have come unsliced. You couldn't make this with anything like Hovis or Kingsmill. You'd end up with mush. It has to be able to fight back a little bit against the custard mix. And the butter should be at room temperature, otherwise you'll be making big holes in your bread.

Ingredients
12 thin-ish slices of day old white bread
100g butter, at room temperature
100g caster sugar
100g sultanas
600ml semi-skimmed milk
2 eggs
freshly grated nutmeg

Lightly grease a 3pt oven dish.

Butter all 12 slices of bread on one side only then cut in half diagonally. Arrange half of these, butter side down in the oven dish. Sprinkle with half your sugar and half the sultanas. Arrange the remaining bread butter side up, and repeat with the remaining sugar and fruit.

In a jug beat the eggs and milk together then pour over the pudding until it is evenly distributed. Grate over the nutmeg and leave to stand for 1 hour to allow the bread to soak up the custardy mix.

When you are ready to cook it, preheat the oven to 180C and cook for 40 minutes until golden and the top layer of bread it wonderfully crisp.

Serve as it is or with something else on it. You could put cream on it, or perhaps some stewed fruit would be nice, something a little tart to cut through the milky sweetness. I have it with a splash of cold milk. I don't know why, old habits etc etc.

Cauliflower Cheese Bake

I am a big fan of cauliflower cheese. I'm a big fan of anything smothered in cheese sauce, especially if you can claim it's healthy as part of your five a day. This is a brilliant way of getting almost a whole meal into one oven dish. You can of course serve this as a side dish to a large hunk of protein; pork chops, sausages, rump steak...sorry, I got distracted. Basically it would work well as main event or as part of the chorus. And it's easily vegetarianised, by taking out the bacon. And this would be a lovely way to use up any veg and potatoes you had left over after a roast dinner. On Boxing Day, when your most likely to have large quantities of cold cooked spuds and veg, this would be a relatively easy way to make what is essentially the same meal taste totally different. Serve with whichever meat you had for Christmas lunch with gravy and possibly some frozen peas, otherwise the meal would look a little pale. And if your meat is turkey, a large splodge of cranberry jelly. Anyway, here goes...

Ingredients

1 head cauliflower, separated into florets
500g little potatoes, such as Charlotte or New potatoes
30g butter
30g plain flour
600ml semi-skimmed milk
100g grated Cheddar, plus extra
6 rashers streaky bacon, cut into 1cm strips
1 small packet of plain salted crisps

Preheat the oven to 200C
In a pan of boiling salted water, cook the florets for about 5 minutes until they are slightly softened. Remove them from the water with a slotted spoon and put into your oven dish. Keep the water boiling and add the potatoes for about 15-20 minutes until cooked through.

Meanwhile, melt the butter in a pan, then add the flour. Beat them together and cook for about a minute until there is a little colour in the mixture (called a roux) and to get rid of the floury taste. Add a little of the milk, beat in, then add about 1/3 of the milk in and whisk together, getting rid of the lumps. Cook this a little, allowing it to thicken, then add another 1/3 of the milk, mixing and thickening. Add the grated cheese and mix it thoroughly allowing it to thicken quite a bit, then add the last of the milk. If you wanted you could add 1/4 teaspoon of English mustard powder for a bit of piquancy. Once the sauce is thick enough (about the consistency of a normal yoghurt) set it aside.

Once the potatoes are cooked, drain them and return to the pan. Cut them in half then add to the oven dish with the cauliflower. Then add the bacon if using. Pour the sauce over, catching the tops of all the bits of cauliflower that are jutting out a bit. Sprinkle some more grated cheese over the top. Take your packet of crisps, open it and then crush the contents into crumbs. Sprinkle these all over the top of the bake.

Put in the oven for 25-30 minutes until golden and bubbling and serve anyway you please. I like it best with chunky bread and butter, fantastic of soaking up the excess sauce.

Roast Pumpkin Soup

I love pumpkins and believe them to be a much maligned vegetable in this country, generally used once a year in October for the purpose of making Jack o' Lanterns. I don't deny that I am one for making these ghoulish decorations but I think we can miss the fact that the pumpkin is a fantastic food as well. I have found that the best eating ones are not the giant specimens which are probably mostly water, but the small ones, around 1.5kg. These are labelled as 'culinary pumpkins' in my local supermarket. Presumably as opposed to the sculpting variety. Of course you can make this soup with any squash, the most easily available being the butternut squash. Pumpkins are also in that fabulous group known as the superfoods. High in potassium, beta-carotene and Vitamin C which are all essential to our well-being. Potassium can help with high blood pressure, beta-carotene is converted to Vitamin A which helps with growth, healthy skin, is an anti-oxidant and helps to boost your immune system. And Vitamin C is vital for us apes to maintain a good immune system. So all in all pumpkins rule.

A note about chopping a pumpkin: if you have a woodsman handy, get him to do it with an axe. If not, you will have to learn to be very patient and very careful. They are extremely hard vegetables and not ones that yield easily. The best tool is a very sharp serrated knife, of a size that you can easily wield. You have been warned!

1.5kg pumpkin olive oil garlic infused olive oil (optional)
2 sticks celery, diced
1 medium onion, diced
300ml vegetable stock
500ml freshly boiled water
300ml semi-skimmed milk
salt and pepper
double cream, crème fraiche or natural yoghurt to serve

Preheat your oven to 200°C/400°F/Gas 6

Cut your pumpkin in half and scoop and out all the fibrous material and seeds and set aside. Now cut each half of the pumpkin into four wedges. Place in a roasting tin and drizzle liberally with olive oil and then put a touch of garlic olive oil on each wedge, then turn all the wedges about so they are covered in oil. Put in oven for 40 minutes, turning half way through. Meanwhile, extract the seeds from the fibrous pulp and put on to a dry baking sheet, making sure they are only one layer thick. Put these into the oven at the same time you turn the wedges and leave in for the remainder of the cooking time, i.e. 20 minutes. Once the seeds have gone in chop your celery and onion and place in a large saucepan with olive oil and a sprinkling of salt. This draws some water out of the onions and stops them from catching as you soften them. Cook on a low heat until both onion and celery are cooked and soft. Set aside until needed.

Once 40 minutes is up, remove the wedges and seeds and set aside to cool. (The seeds won't be needed again until serving.) Once the pumpkin is cool enough to handle, peel the skin of the flesh and discard, setting the flesh aside. Add the stock and water to the celery and onions and bring to the boil, then turn down the heat. Add the pumpkin flesh and mash it into the stock. The easiest way to do this is with a potato masher. Once the flesh is reasonably mashed up, liquidise the soup using a jug blender or hand held blender. Once the it is completely smooth return to the pan (if using a jug blender) and add the milk. Grate in as much fresh nutmeg as you wish, then bring to boil once then simmer gently or turn off heat until the soup is needed.

To serve, add a dollop of whichever dairy product you prefer with a scattering of the roasted pumpkin seeds, et voila!

Swineherd's Pie

This is a take on Shepherd's Pie or Cottage Pie but with a twist. A swineherd is an old English word for a person that looks after pigs. We now call them, rather prosaically, pig farmers, but I liked the medieval nature of this name. This is a recipe I saw from Jill Dupleix in Delicious magazine, which is a great publication and gives me hours of food lust! It's a real winter recipe that would be ideal for a Bonfire night, making you feel really satisfied and warm before wrapping up and going to watching explosions.

6 rashers streaky bacon, halved
100g sausages, skinned
½ tbsp tomato ketchup
¼ tsp soy sauce
¼ tsp dried parsley
Pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
125g potatoes, mashed with butter, milk and seasoning
1-2 tbsp grated cheddar

Yorkshire pudding tin

Preheat oven to 180ºC/Gas 4

Line 2 of the divots in the Yorkshire pudding tin with the bacon.

Put the sausage meat, ketchup, soy sauce, parsley, nutmeg and some seasoning into a bowl and mix together well. Split the mixture into two even balls and place on top of the bacon, then pat down to fill the tin.

Divide the potato evenly between the two pies, making sure all the sausage meat is covered, then use a fork to rough up the surface a little. Sprinkle the cheese over these.

Bake for 25-30 minutes. The pies should be golden and the cheese looks slightly souffled. They will be very hot, as the cheese and potato act as a fantastic insulator, so go steady.

This is good dressed up or down, by which I mean served with something a bit everyday like baked beans (a favourite in my home) or spruced up with fancy veg. You could try some of the stacking that chefs seem to be so keen on; sit it on a bed of spinach or greens or perhaps serve it with some beautifully roasted butternut squash segments for a wonderfully autumnal meal.

Variations

I think that one of the easiest ways to make this a bit more fancy perhaps, would be to ramp up the pedigree of the meat you're using. Use Proscuitto instead of streaky bacon, and a very herby or unusual sausage. My local butcher does sausages with leek, apple, basil. And my brother, who has become a rather avid and skilled amateur sausage maker, has created a couple of fantastic mixes; a pungent garlicky one and one loaded with chilli which I imagine is like a cross between a chorizo and a Cumberland. You could also use a more chic cheese, such as Parmesan or even something blue such as Stilton or Gorgonzola.

Banana Bread

This is one of the easiest and most rewarding cakes you can bake. It has the added advantage of being good household economy. We've all bought a bunch of bananas and then a week later been left with overripe fruit that is not entirely appetising to eat, unless you are a very small child. It is also satisfyingly mucky in it's construction; if you enjoyed making mud pies or crashing about in puddles then this pushes all the same buttons. Mashing banana with a fork is simple enough, but it seems to fulfil some primeval urge. Or it's just me. The cake itself is delicious, having all the advantages of a fruit cake without being a fruit cake (I speak as someone who doesn't actually like eating fruit cakes.) and makes your house smell like some centre of domesticity and capability, and why let anyone think otherwise. I will admit that this recipe comes almost verbatim from Nigella Lawson's 'How to be a Domestic Goddess'.

Ingredients
100g sultanas
75ml recently boiled water
175g plain flour
2 tsp baking powder
0.5 tsp bicarbonate of powder
0.5 tsp salt
125g butter, melted
150g caster sugar
2 large eggs
300g very ripe banana, mashed

23x13x7cm loaf tin, lined.

Preheat oven to 170C/Gas Mark 3

Put the sultanas in a bowl with the hot water and leave to stand to plump them up. This can be done an hour or two in advance for really nicely plumped up fruit. However if, like me, you're not that organised then you can leave them to soak until you need them.

Put the flour, baking powder, bicarb and salt into a bowl and mix together. In another, larger bowl mix the melted butter and sugar together until well blended, add the eggs one at a time, again until well blended and then add the mashed banana and mix. Drain the sultanas then add them to this liquid mix. Then add the flour mix into this. You can either do it all at once or in two batches, it depends on your level of patience.

Pour this mix into the prepared loaf tin, scraping the bowl out thoroughly, then place in the oven for 1-1.25 hours. Use a skewar or cake tester to check whether it is ready (if it comes out clean it's ready, if cake mix adheres to it, give it longer).

Once it is cooked, leave to cool in it's tin. Then eat with glee.

Variation
In the original recipe, there was also 60g of chopped walnuts added at the same time as the sultanas, but I have an absolute hatred of walnuts. With the soaking of the sultanas Nigella uses bourbon or dark rum which is fine, but not something I have in the cupboards but feel free if you do.

Apple Cake Crusoe Style

This recipe was called Tuck's Apple Cake but I've change it because I don't know who or what Tuck is, and it's just like the cake my friend Vicky Robinson's mum makes, so it's a much better name. Be warned though, this cake is mighty tastey and will be eaten very quickly.

A quick note about the ingredients. The butter will be easier to use if it's at just below room temperature. Take it out of the fridge 30 minutes to an hour before you need it. You can use cold butter, but it's more work for your fingers.

350g self raising flour
225g unsalted butter cut in to cubes
175g caster sugar, plus extra
450g Bramley apple, peeled, cored and diced
125g raisins or sultanas
3 eggs, beaten
pinch salt
1tsp ground cinnamon (optional) 1/2 tsp grated nutmeg (optional)

Preheat the oven to 150°C/300°F/Gas 2. Grease and line a 20cm/8in cake tin.

Sift the flour into a large (it must be large as there's a lot of stuff to go in) and add the butter and salt. Rub the flour and butter together to create breadcrumbs.

Add the sugar and dried fruit and mix together gently, you don't want to make the breadcrumbs clump up into dough. Add the spices here if you're using them.

Add the apple chunks and mix in until evenly distributed throughout the mixture. I find it best to use the same technique as you use for folding egg white, not for gentility's sake but because there's a lot in the bowl and going mad with the mix will result in a messy kitchen!

Now add the eggs and mix until all the breadcrumbs are combined. Don't be tempted to add extra liquid, this comes from the apples as they cook down. Put the mixture into the cake tin and smooth it out a bit.

Bake for 1 1/2- 2 hours until golden. To check it is cooked through, insert a skewar or thin blade. If it comes out clean then it's cooked, if some cake mix is stuck to the metal, stick it back in for another 10-15 minutes.

Once you're satisfied it's cooked, remove from the oven and leave to cool. Don't take the cake out of the tin until it's cooled enough for you to handle. If you remove it whilst it's hot, it will go a bit squiffy and wonky.

Sprinkle the extra caster sugar all over the top when you take it out for a nice crunchy top.

Serve warm with custard or cold whipped cream for a pudding or have cold as a cake.

And yes, there will be a chocolate brownie recipe coming soon!

Triple Chocolate Brownies

As requested by Mrs Shore, here is a recipe for chocolate brownies. These are seriously delicious and once you've made them you'll realise how AWFUL the shop bought variety is. I'm yet to discover anywhere which does anything even remotely close to these. I wouldn't make these too often though, they are really naughty and I dread to think how many calories each one has in it.

The chocolate I use (religiously) is Green and Black's Organic Dark 70%. This is possibly the best dark chocolate available so widely. For this recipe you'll need two 100g bars, which will leave you a little left over to snaffle secretly.

Another good ingredient is vanilla sugar. Put your caster sugar in an airtight container and bury 3 or 4 vanilla pods in it. After a week your sugar will be gorgeously perfumed. You can keep topping it up with more sugar, as the pods seem to have almost endless flavour. I've had the same ones for 2 years and they are still doing their stuff. This is great for baking, especially chocolate recipes which benefit enormously from the addition of vanilla. You can't really taste the vanilla but it seems to lift the chocolatey-ness to another level of yumminess. I also use it for sweetening my coffee or hot chocolate, but not tea. It does something odd to tea.

Ingredients
190g unsalted butter
190g dark chocolate
3 large eggs, preferably free range and organic
250g golden caster sugar
1/2 tbsp vanilla extract (if not using vanilla sugar)
110g plain flour
1/2 tsp salt
100g dark chocolate chips
100g milk or white chocolate chips

Baking tin measuring 23 x 23 x 5cm (9 x 9 x 2in)

Preheat oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas mark 4. Grease and line your brownie tin with baking parchment, making sure to line the sides as well. You'll be thankful for it later.
Melt the butter and chocolate together in a pan and set aside to cool a little. In a large bowl, beat the eggs then add the sugar and extract, if using. Add the chocolate mixture and combine thoroughly, then add the flour with salt and mix together. Finally add the chocolate chips and stir well until they are distributed evenly. Pour this mixture into the tin. I usually need a second pair of hands to hold the bowl whilst I scrape it out.
Bake for about 25 minutes. The top will go strangely pale, the colour of milky coffee and start to crack. I take them out after 25 minutes as they continue to cook outside the oven and you want them to be gooey in the middle.
Once cool enough to handle turn out the cake (here's where lining the sides is a big help) and cut into 16 pieces. Eat with a glass of cold milk or a cup of coffee.

Variations I think traditionally brownies have nuts in them, usually walnuts but I can't stand them and live with someone who hates all nuts so I had to come up with something different. Of course you could add any nut really; pecans, brazils, peanuts etc. You could also try some par-dried fruits, such as strawberries or even better, raspberries. These odd little things go like small pockets of jam within the brownie.

Mummy's Lentil Soup

As a salute to The Mighty Boosh, here is a lovely yummy recipe for the lentil soup that my mum has been making for years. My whole family were dragged up on it. It's tasty, almost criminally simple to make, pretty healthy and really cheap. There are two methods for cooking it, microwave and stove-top, either is good but I prefer the stove; there's nothing quite like the feeling you get from stirring away at a large vat of soup. It makes you feel very capable, even if it's a bit of self delusion.

Ingredients

1 onion, chopped
1 carrot, diced
2 sticks celery, diced
2 tbsp oil
100g red lentils
800ml vegetable or chicken stock
1 bay leaf
1/4 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp tumeric
1/4 cumin
salt
Optional- chilli powder, however much you like.

Microwave
Put the onion, carrot and celery in a large microwave bowl with the oil and cook for 4-5 minutes on high. When all the vegetables are tender, add the lentils, bay leaf and spices and cover with 550mls of stock. Don't salt the lentils as they can become a bit tough and some pre-prepared stocks can be far saltier than truly necessary. Cook for 12-15 minutes on high, or until the lentils can be squashed with the back of a spoon.

Stove
Sweat the onion, carrot and celery with the oil until tender, but don't brown them. Add the lentils, spices and stock and cook for 20-30 until lentils are squashable.

Finishing off for both methods
Blitz the mixture using a liquidiser or hand blender. I use the latter which avoids the whole scary explosion possibilities of a jug liquidiser and saves on washing up. Once this is nicely blended, you can add the remaining stock and heat through. If you prefer a thicker, more dhal like consistency then leave it as it is.

You can add some double cream or creme fraiche to serve. If you had some streaky bacon you could cook it until it's very crispy, then crumble it over as you would with croutons. (Crunchy friends in a liquid broth.) Or just eat it as it is with delicious bread and butter.

Rhubarb Crumble

Rhubarb is actually a vegetable, and the best stuff is grown in an area called The Rhubarb Triangle, an area between Leeds, Wakefield and Bradford. This is called either forced rhubarb or Traditionally Grown Yorkshire Indoor Rhubarb, and is hopefully going to be a name that can be used only by growers using a particular method in a particular area. This means that it will prevent any old rhubarb from saying it's the good stuff, in the same way that not all sparkling white wine can be called Champagne, only the stuff from Champagne. And believe me the comparison between the forced rhubarb and Champagne is made by some chefs.
I was personally brought up eating rhubarb, and lots of it. I don't have any memories of over stewed stringy stuff, but I went to a school that didn't have hot lunches and I can see that that is where a lot of people's dislike of it grew up. My mother made all her own puddings (shop bought things were a total novelty to us) and our next door neighbour was a keen gardener. He grew his own outdoor rhubarb, and every year would end up with more than he and his wife could eat. This resulted in us getting some of the excess, often finding it had been chucked over the fence to us. It was glorious stuff.

Ingredients
750g rhubarb, in 1cm slices
75g caster sugar
2tbsp water
2tbsp orange juice
175g plain flour
90g butter, diced
50g light brown sugar

Preheat the oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas 4

Put the rhubarb in an oven proof dish and sprinkle the caster sugar all over. I also tend to give the rhubarb a mix as well, the same as if you are tossing a salad, to distribute the sugar evenly. Add the water and orange juice.
Put the flour and butter in a large mixing bowl and rub together until you get bread crumbs. Add the light brown sugar to this and stir it around with a fork or a knife or a chopstick. Pretty much anything but a spoon, as it has an uncanny way of squodging together.
If you are cooking this straightaway, spread the breadcrumbs evenly over the fruit, but don't worry if a few bits stick through. If you are preparing this in advance, I wouldn't bring together the crumble and fruit elements until cooking is imminent, otherwise you get soggy crumble and that's just not cool.
Cook for 40 minutes, then leave to stand out of the oven for about 15 minutes. Serve with whatever you fancy really; double cream, vanilla ice cream, custard, they're all good. It's also delicious the next day (if you have any left!) with cold plain or Greek yoghurt. It's a bit like one of those frightfully expensive corner yoghurts, but more satisfying for being homemade and left over!

Tasty Fish Cakes

This is a recipe I've taken out of Nigella Lawson's book 'Feast', which is one of my favourite cook books. In fact, it's one of my favourite books and gives me a sense of well being just to leaf through it. I don't go in for the voluminous portions that she specifies in the book, for two reasons: at most I have only two people to feed and although I like good food, I can't eat mountains of it.
This is a fantastic recipe for using up mashed potato. I am terminally incapable of judging how many potatoes I need to make the right amount of mash, so I always go overboard. The choices are either eating it all and ending up with what Andy and I call 'potato tummy', chucking it out and feeling guilty about the third world or putting in a freezer bag and fridging it until I get some fish. This is the best choice for so many reasons. You feel virtuous somehow knowing you are being a good household manager and can almost convince yourself that you made too much on purpose. It also means that the hardest part of the recipe is already done. And when the hardest part of a recipe is peeling and chopping potatoes, then you know you're onto a winner. Obviously you can make this from scratch, just use the same weight of raw potatoes as specified for mash.
And one last thing. PLEASE use undyed smoked haddock. The really yellowy-orange fillets aren't really smoked, they're painted with smoke flavour and if you're anything like me, you'll react to that stuff with little encouragement. Yes the naturally smoked stuff is more expensive but it's also better.

Ingredients
300g mashed potatoes
250g haddock (about 1 fillet)
250g smoked haddock (about 1 fillet)
1 hard boiled egg, chopped
juice and zest of 1/2 lemon
parsley, dried or fresh
100g crushed Ritz crackers or breadcrumbs
125ml milk
125ml water

If you are making mash from scratch then peel and chop your spuds, and boil them until cooked, drain the water and then mash. Don't add too much extra liquid, you want them to be quite solid.

Put the milk and water in a frying pan and bring to a gentle simmer (milk will boil over on the smallest provocation, and that can be dangerous if you cook with gas) and lower the fish into it. I tend to cut my fillets up into 2 or 3 pieces to cut down the cooking time and get them to fit in the pan. They're going to be flaked anyway so we don't need to be precious about it. Cook for about 8 minutes or until the flesh has gone opaque. This can be more difficult to tell with the smoked stuff, but if your unsmoked fish is cooked then use that as a guide.

Once the fish is cooked, remove from the milk and leave to cool on a plate until you can handle it. Remove the skin then flake it, but do leave some chunky bits too. I also recommend putting the skin from the fish into your outdoor bin immediately and washing up the fish related cooking equipment straightaway. I love fish, but I don't want to smell it for days.

Once the fish, mash and egg are all cooled or even cold, mix them together and add the parsley, lemon zest and SOME lemon juice. Go steady with it, you don't want the mixture to be too sloppy or they won't bind together and keep a nice shape. Season as required.

Using a resonably flat plate, pour out your Ritz crumbs or breadcrumbs and shuggle the (please consult a Scot for the meaning of this word) plate until you have an even layer on the plate. Using your hands, shape about one eighth of your mixture into a patty shape, then place in the crumbs, pressing slightly. Turn it over to cover the other side, then place on it's side and roll it to get the sides coated. Repeat until you have run out of mixture. (This is a messy job, but impossible with utensils, and I speak as someone with a positive hatred of having food on my hands. I've been known to eat doughnuts with a fork.) As each one is ready put them on another plate. I find this makes about 8 fishcakes of 6cm diameter.

If you are eating them straightaway, heat the oven to 200°C/390°F/Gas 6 then cook on a baking tray for 15-20 minutes until warmed through. If you are not eating them now, cover them in clingfilm and fridge them until they are needed. Do remember that they will need to come up to room temperature before being cooked or you'll have a piping hot outside and a cold inside. Nasty.

You can serve these with anything you fancy really. They are almost a meal in themselves but I like a tomato salad: slice a very ripe beef tomato, drizzle with salad dressing and sprinkle with parsley. Whenever I went to France on holiday we used to eat lots of this salad and it's fantastic. You could use normal tomatoes, I think my preference is nostalgic rather than culinary.

Bread

Bread making is one of the most satisfying things you can ever do. It makes you feel absurdly capable, as if you are somehow a great provider of marvelous things in life. I wonder if professional bakers would agree. I have a feeling starting work at 1am would take the shine of the feeling a little. Still, to make bread with your own hands is truly wonderful. I think this has a lot to do with the use of yeast. I think there's something quite magical about yeast. Of course I know its cold logical science, which I'm not going to go into here for fear of showing how little I was listening in biology, but there is something almost miraculous about it. The idea of cooking with something living is, to me, very appealing. And because I love it so much, and possibly because I'm a wee bit touched, I do tend to talk to bread dough. In fact I have a habit of talking to inanimate objects that I love. Courgettes often get whole conversations from me, admittedly a little one sided. Anyway, bread. Bread combines all the best bits about cooking: chemistry, nourishment and sensuality. Bread is a touchy feely affair, and often you can't describe to someone how you know the bread is kneaded enough, it's just about learning the dough. Although my mother did once helpfully explain that dough that is ready to be proved should feel like a milking breast. This is not a suggestion to go and grope lactating mothers. However should the opportunity arise it may be an interesting comparison. In this recipe I use a sachet of dried yeast, but not the fast acting stuff which I believe is better used for bread making machines. If you want to use fresh yeast and can actually get hold of some, then use twice the weight. And no I haven't picked a purposefully pernickety weight, it's how much the sachets weigh.

Ingredients

500g strong white bread flour

7g dried yeast (15g fresh)

300ml warm water

1tsp salt

Olive oil

Put the flour and add the yeast and salt, though keep them apart as salt in high concentrations can kill yeast. Add two thirds of your water and using your hands mix it together, but be prepared to add the whole lot. You want a sticky, wet-ish dough otherwise your finished bread will stale in about 47 seconds. Once all the dry flour is combined and its coming together in to a single lump, put the dough on to a clean surface. It doesn't need to be floured, but if you feel safer with a floured surface, who am I to judge? Now we get to knead, which is truly fab to do, but quite difficult to explain. Using the heal of your hand, push the dough away from you then bring it back with your finger tips. I tend to turn the dough 90° so you don't get too sausagey a shape. You need to do this for at least 10 minutes. You will feel the dough change in your hands and what you are looking for is a silky smooth texture. And it should smell yeasty as well, as the kneading starts to activate it I'm sure. Being punched for 10 minutes would wake anyone up.

Put the dough in to a clean bowl which has had some olive oil rubbed onto the surface to prevent sticking. Cover with cling film and leave to prove (rise) for 1.5-2 hours in a warm place, making sure it has doubled in size. You can leave it to prove in the fridge for 12 hours. This, I'm told makes great bread, the long process meaning that the gluten chains are very stretched out. However I'm not a patient enough person to make the dough in the evening, leave it to prove over night and then cook it in the morning. Nor am I organized enough. So, once your dough is double the original size, we need to knock it back. This means very gently punching it (honestly) and making it deflate. You then give it another minute or so of kneading, then prepare it for baking.

Preheat your oven to 220°C/430°F/Gas mark 7. Place your dough in a rounded shape on a baking sheet or in a loaf tin (1 lb tin) and cover with a clean tea towel or cling film leave to prove again for half an hour. Once this is done, it should have double in size again. Cook for 35-40 minutes until ready. To test this, lift the loaf and knock the bottom with your knuckles. It should sound hollow, if it doesn't, put it back in for 10-15 minutes. If you were using a tin, this extra bake can be done without it.

Et voila! You have bread. Eat it with whatever you want, I'm not about to give serving suggestions for it! I am told that hot bread gives you indigestion but I think this was my mother stopping us from inhaling the loaf she had just made.

Leek and Potato

Leek and Potato Soup

I think we can establish that I like soup and I am always trying to find lovely new broth like constructions. This however is a classic and you can find it in so many different guises that it may well be the most chameleonic soup ever. I've seen it dried as instant soup, tinned, in fancy cardboard cartons (from that well known soup company) and in the fancy plastic pots from the supermarket. In one well known supermarket, they brand it as Leek and Maris Piper Soup, ('This is not just soup, this is hideously overpriced soup.' Imagine a woman on the verge of orgasm saying this, whilst Santana plays in the background.) which makes me laugh without fail. Some things don't need to be fancified, and are best left the way they began. I'm all for old, maligned dishes getting a resurgence, but sometimes it goes too far. Much the same with bread and butter pudding being bandied around by chefs in the big restaurants. The way they were talking you'd think they'd invented the bloody thing.

Anyway, rant over. Here's some soup:

Ingredients

2 leeks, washed and cut into 1cm dice

1 onion, 1cm dice

2 large potatoes, 1cm dice (no need to peel, just clean)

500mls vegetable stock

Milk

Streaky bacon, cut in to strips or lardons (optional)

Sweat the onion until it is soft, but do not let it colour. If you put salt onto the onions it will stop them browning as it draws out the water. If you want to use bacon, cook it along with the onions. Once the onion is soft, add the leeks and sweat them off, but they do cook quickly as they are so thin so keep an eye on it. Once the leeks are nicely soft, add the cubes of potatoes and mix together before adding the stock. Bring all this to the boil then allow to simmer for 15-20 minutes, until the potatoes are cook through. Add extra water if you feel it's getting a little low on liquid, but you should be fine. Once it's all cooked through, take it off the heat and blitz it using a liquidiser or hand blender, until it is thick and creamy. Add some milk, as much as you need or want, until you get the consistency you like best. Put it back on the heat and let simmer for a couple of minutes.

This is lovely served with a bit of double cream swirled into it (I admit I think everything is nice with double cream.) or crème fraiche if you're being more health conscious. And of course, it's necessary and possibly even legally mandatory to serve this with delicious crusty bread, slathered with butter. Hey, calorie counting is not my strong point!

Dropped Scones

...or Scotch Pancakes if you aren't, somewhat ironically, Scottish. These are the smaller version of those rather alarming stacks that Americans have with maple syrup and bacon as a breakfast. It's no wonder that America has had so many of the tallest buildings when you look at the height of their breakfasts.
These are very much a tea time consumable. And when I say tea I mean a meal eaten at about 7 o'clock on a Sunday comprising fruit cake, crumpets, bread, scones, jams, cream, butter and gallons of tea. It's what my mother calls Scottish High Tea (capitalisation entirely called for) and I suppose it's similar in form to English Afternoon Tea, only taken later. I think this is mainly because it's eaten on a day when you'll have eaten a proper 'dinner' at lunchtime. The problem with calling things lunch, dinner and tea is that they mean different things depending where you come from and what your parents called things. And how pretentious you are...
This recipe come from my mother, who has been making these for ever. She has the recipe written on a card in a recipe box. The card is covered in splatters of 'oops a bit of egg!' and 'whoops a splash of milk!' and a telltale see through grease spot of vegetable oil. This is a sure sign of a great recipe. This recipe came from her mother, and presumably her mother also. Its measurements are all '3 serving spoons of this, half a teacup of this' but as I have different utensils to my mother I have converted it into cold, hard measurements. I assured her it was for the betterment of mankind.

Ingredients

Makes 20

100g self raising flour
1tsp baking powder
60g caster sugar
pinch salt
2-3tbs vegetable or sunflower oil
1 large egg
100ml semi skimmed milk

Sift the flour and baking powder into a large mixing bowl, then add the sugar and salt. Make a well in the centre of the dry ingredients.
Mix the oil, egg and two thirds of the milk together in a jug. Put this in the well in the flour and mix together to make a smooth batter, adding the remaining milk if you need it. It's difficult to say if it will be necessary to use all the milk as flour has different absorbency rates depending on brand, age and even temperature. If you have used all the milk and still need more liquid, add a splash of water. The consistency should be the same as thick but not set yoghurt. Leave to stand for ten minutes.
To cook these you need a very flat non-stick frying pan or a griddle pan. I have one that sits across two gas burners, one side is flat and one side is ridged. Needless to say I need the flat side here!
If you're using Teflon coated cookware you probably won't need any oil at all but it's better to be safe than sorry. No point crying over stuck dropped scones. I tend to put a tablespoons worth of vegetable oil on to a saucer and dip a wad of kitchen paper in it, then wipe it over the surface of the hot pan. You just want a very small amount. I repeat this before each batch.
Using a serving spoon (or there about) drop the batter onto the hot pan. They should only spread a little and you're looking for a diameter of about 2 inches. My pan makes about 8 at a go, but a normal sized frying pan will take three or four. Once you see bubbles forming on the surface of the scone, you can turn it over to cook the other side. They should take about a minute each side. They will go a quite dark brown, the same colour as chocolate milk.
I keep a plate with a clean tea towel laid over it to put them on. As each batch is cooked I put them on the tea towel then cover them up. This helps keep them warm and stops them drying out. And it's what my mum always does.
We always have these as we would eat a cream tea. Soft whipped cream and strawberry jam, but also apricot jam, which is not the done thing with a Cornish style cream tea. They are also very good when toasted and buttered, but I would only do this if I had day old ones. Fresh ones should be devoured in an orgiastic cream and jam fashion. And believe me, 20 will be just about sufficient for 2 people, as they are horrendously easy to eat.

Granola

Oh yes, I've gone all Felicity Kendal and resorted to making my own breakfast cereals. (Kate, before long I will be weaving beards out of yogurt and making pot holders from tofu.) Well, you see granola is a kind of honeyed toasted muesli, which tastes a bit like a cross between Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and those sesame snaps you can buy. This is another recipe that I have half inched from Nigella, and changed a bit. I know making your own cereal might seem a bit mental and self flagellating but it is worth it, I promise.

Ingredients
225g poridge oats
50g sunflower seeds
50g sesame seeds
100g apple sauce
1tsp ground cinnamon
60g golden syrup
2tbsp runny honey
50 light muscavado sugar
120g shelled pecans
half tsp salt
1tbsp vegetable or sunflower
150g raisins (optional)

Preheat your oven to 170°C. In a large mixing bowl combine everything except the raisins. It will look like there isn't enough coating for everything but it will, it just takes a little patience.
Tip this out on to a large baking tray and spread out so there is a even layer all over. After 30 minutes, give everything a turn (imagine you are turning over a flower bed, that's the effect you want) and redistribute evenly again, then put back in the oven for a further 20-30 minutes, until everything is evenly toasted to a golden brown.
Once this is cooled completely, store in an airtight jar with or without raisins. I tend to have it without, and add a handful if I fancy them. Better that than deciding I don't want them and having to pick them out, life is too short for such things. Of course you could add any dried friut you like: apple, papaya, mango, pear, pineapple, cranberries, blueberries, banana chips, figs.....(How I ever get out of Holland and Barrett without bankrupting myself is a minor miracle.)
If I think about it you could also replace the oats with rye flakes or barley flakes or do an exciting freestyle mix. And the seeds could be changed to pumpkin and linseed, or even all four, though I would stick to the 100g of seeds.
And finally you could replace the honey with maple syrup, which would go beautifully with the pecans. Basically this is a guide more than a recipe and you can get a bit creative.
This can be eaten as a cereal with milk, sprinkled over natural yogurt with a drizzle of honey or a dollop of stewed fruit. Or it can be eaten squirrel like, as a tasty nibbly snack.

Naughty Chocolate Cake

This is the recipe I was going to do for Easter weekend, adorned with Mini Eggs for a decadent treat. But instead I got a stomach bug so I am making it now and present it to you here. This is a chocolate cake that shops or cafes would probably called chocolate fudge cake, and has a very light, rich sponge and a ridiculously rich and naughty icing. You could use any icing you like, but I've given a recipe for a chocolate ganache, which will make you dribble everywhere with delight, so get a bib handy!

Ingredients
200g good quality chocolate (I use Green & Blacks 70%)
200g unsalted butter, cubed
1tbsp instant coffee powder or granules
85g plain flour
85g self raising flour
1/4 tsp bicarbonate of soda
200g light muscavado sugar
200g golden or white caster sugar
25g cocoa powder
3 medium eggs
1tsp vanilla extract
75ml buttermilk

For the ganache
200g chocolate (same as above)
284ml tub of double cream
2 tbsp golden or white caster sugar

Butter the base and sides and line the base of a 20cm round cake tin (7.5cm deep). Preheat the oven to 160°C/320°F/Gas 3.

Break the chocolate in to pieces and put in a heavy based pan with the butter and the coffee powder mixed with 125ml cold water. Place on a low heat until everything is melted and mixed but avoid overheating as the chocolate will catch and burn when exposed to too much heat. Once everthing is combined, take off the heat and leave to cool a little

In a large mixing bowl, mix the flours, sugars, bicarbonate of soda and cocoa powder. In a jug whisk the eggs and buttermilk together (If you can't get buttermilk, measure out 75mls of milk and add half a teaspoon of white wine vinegar, then leave it to sour for 5 mins. This means that the acid will be present in the batter to react with the bicarbonate of soda and create a light cake) then add to the dry ingredients followed by the chocolate and butter mixture. Mix together thoroughly until you have a smooth batter. This will be quite runny but don't worry, it's meant to be.

Pour the batter into your cake tin and cook on the middle shelf of the oven for 1 hour 25-30 minutes. To check this is ready put a cake tester or skewar into the middle of the cake, which should come out clean once the cake is ready. The top of the cake should feel firm to the touch, but don't be alarmed if it's a little bit cracked. Leave it to cool in the tin for about 10-15 minutes, then turn out on to a rack to cool completely.

When the cake is cold, cut it horizontally in to three pieces. To make the ganache, break the chocolate into small pieces and tip into a heat proof bowl. In a heavy based pan heat the cream with the sugar until it is about to boil then take off the heat and pour over the chocolate. Stir this until the chocolate has melted and the mixture is smooth.

Sandwich the layers together using a little icing, then once all the layers are together, pour the rest of the ganache over the top, letting it fall down the sides. Smooth the sides with a palette knife then decorate the top with whatever you fancy: sprinkles, chocolate vermicelli, chocolate curls, crystallised flowers etc etc. Of course you can leave it unadorned too.

Variations
If you wanted something a bit more varied, you could sandwich the layers with tinned strained cherries and a thin spreading of lightly whipped cream, which would give you a Black Forrest type thing. I would top it with more whipped cream, some cherries and grated chocolate. You could do the same with fresh strawberries, though I would use a thin layer of strawberry jam then a layer of thinly sliced strawberry (about the thickness of a £1 coin). Do this on both layers then dust with icing sugar and serve with the whipped cream